All That I Am (If We Were Having Coffee…)

Cup of Tea (Because I actually don't drink coffee) | Photo by Nichole Q Perreault

Cup of Tea (Because I actually don’t drink coffee) | Photo by Nichole Q Perreault

If we were having coffee right now
I would be laughing
or crying
or ranting.
It depends on which me shows up. 

If default-Nichole showed up, I would tell you about how I busy I am, how I love my job and my family and my friends and creating things and fleshing out ideas. How my girls are becoming beautiful women and my dearest friends. How my husband, somehow, all at once, drives me absolutely nuts and yet amazes me with his undeserved love and loyalty. I would tell you that lately, God speaks to my heart in ways so deep they can hardly be searched out and formed into words. And I would listen. I would listen to you and laugh with you and love you.

If grieving-Nichole showed up, I would tell you through tears that I don’t know how to do this thing we call life anymore. That I hate what God has done to our family. I would tell you that I still startle upon remembering that my baby brother is gone. Dead and gone from this world forever. I would remind you that in the last five years we’ve lost six family members and two beloved dogs. I would tell you that my girls are growing up and leaving me and I am crushed. That their going – even the prospect of their going – feels like having the air sucked out of my lungs, like my heart and body are drying out, shriveling like dead leaves. I would tell you that I am alone. And I am lost.

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A Thousand Secrets

 

photo by Nichole Q Perreault

 In secret

She lives

but barely

Hiding 

always behind painted eyes

and heavy hair

She tucks a strand 

over her ear

Runs a finger 

down

smoothing

the blackness

down

Fingertip

grazing

her neck

Skin 

Brushing skin

Her eyes rise 

to yours

glistening

like black opal

She smiles

a smile 

that knows 

a thousand secrets

You 

only care 

about

one 

© Nichole Q Perreault

A Few Things I’ve Learned from My Favorite (and not so favorite) Books

WordPress Writing 101 Day 2 Assignment: Write a List

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
You can paint a world with words and invite others to step inside.
Also, writing in the second person is for more than just letters and instruction manuals.

Anything by Dr. Seuss
Sentences can sing, words warble, letters lilt.
Also, it’s ok to make up words. Like fedderzhilt or beggarspilt
Or anything that rhymes
with the previous line.

The Works of Shakespeare
Think you don’t know Shakespeare? Think again.
Also, under some circumstances, it’s totally acceptable for an educated adult to use spark notes.

The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom
“There are no ‘if’s’ in God’s world. And no places that are safer than other places. The center of His will is our only safety…”
Also, this is courage. This is sacrifice. This is love.

The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins
In the game of life, nobody gets out alive. Remember who the real enemy is. Love changes everything.
Also, you can always count on Hollywood to mangle a male lead.

The Color of Water by James McBride
A moving, eye-opening, “black man’s tribute to his white [and Jewish and born-again Christian] mother”…how can you NOT learn something from this book?
Also, if my kids could someday say about me what McBride says about his mom: she loved Jesus…

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